Point of Contact — March 25th

Without feeling arrogant or pretentious, today felt sublimely focused.

Sometimes the use of the word “sublime” feels arrogant for its lofty and elevated nature. Pretentious because using this word casually recognizes the rarefied experience of “sublime” in the relatively commonplace. Perhaps I am being judgmental and pretentious myself, but calling the commonplace sublime seems a bit self-indulgent. I typically consider sublime matters to be few and far between. Sublime is not typical, or if it is typical, it is the most typical. In my humble estimations, sublime experiences are akin to quintessence and momentousness. They are rarefied.

Somewhat paradoxically, and contradictory to what I just wrote, today’s performance felt both rarefied and commonplace – sublime and mundane. Perhaps sublime experiences of reality can become commonplace...

Point of Contact is a very hard piece. We stand, facing one another, maintaining eye contact, holding our forearms at a right degree angle such that the point of our index fingers is almost touching. We stand like this for well over an hour — our eyes never parting — our fingertips hopefully hovering just near the other’s. Standing for over an hour is hard. Maintaining eye contact for over an hour is trippy and mind-altering. Extending your lower arm and attempting to align one’s extended finger with another’s hurts. Sometimes the passive arm, which is simply hanging to the side, looses circulation and falls asleep.

My body fights to hold on to something — allowing for relaxation, freedom and unconstraint is a constant meditation of acknowledging breath, alignment, circulation and flow amidst relative stillness. The fight is actually more about letting go, finding an expanded release, broadening awareness to all things while simultaneously unifying them with focus.

My mind attempts to go elsewhere — past memories and supposed bullshit assert disassociations that distance the present moment. The mundane present is not always enough for my brain, which strives to make itself important by processing images having nothing to do with my current experience. The effort is actually in the allowing — allowing the chatter of the mind to let go and be with the moment as it transpires.

Today as I performed Point of Contact, mundane reality was sublimely present. My senses felt unified and poised to the multiplicitous experiences and currency of the moment. The moment was momentous. Each instance was quintessentially itself. The challenge of the piece was easier — more easeful. Its duration was effortless and endurable. Time passed evenly…The pot did not need to be watched. We were gently simmering with experiences…Yes, I did drift, but it was much easier to come back and be with my partner. What if “I” is outside of “me”?

In many respects I have Deborah Hay to thank for today. I felt her echo very much as I performed. Perhaps it is because I saw her perform her “Lecture on the Performance of Beauty” last night at Cooper Union’s Great Hall - which after a day of performing open-eyed meditation at the museum, left me more tired and distant then I would like to admit.

However, her meditations and my own meditations (which in many respects owe their lineage to her mentorship) were very helpful as I inspired a state of perceptual awareness and noticed the moment’s transpiration…Here is a selection of the koan meditations and supportive statements that surfaced today. They helped ease the work into a state of momentous play…

What if every cell in my body can perceive and surrender Beauty simultaneously?
What if here is now is what I need?
What if “I” is outside of “me”?
What if I can perceive “too much” as the same as “too little”?
I don’t need to do anything.
The wholebody — at once — the teacher.
Notice the feedback.
What if we?
What if the assumption of other’s suffering eases my own?
What if we share we?

I am very thankful for all I have learned from Deborah and am learning from Marina’s work.